Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Me, abstracted

Reply with thoughts, if you have any :)

Source: http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html

Primary Axis: Introverted Thinking - Extraverted Intuition

The INTP is above all a thinker and his inner (private) world is a place governed by a strong sense of logical structure. Every experience is to be rigorously analysed, the task of the INTP's mind is to fit each encountered idea or experience into a larger structure defined by logic. For here is the central goal of the INTP: to understand and seek truth. The experience of anything takes a back seat. The INTP is not interested in experiences themselves but is far more fascinated by concepts. The drive to understand things that are not yet understood is a very powerful force in the life of an INTP. Where the Ti preference is strong, this drive can override the experiential element so strongly that the INTP will become quickly bored with anything that he has successfully analysed to the point of understanding it. Once understood, it has nothing left to offer, once the satisfaction which comes with achieving the goal of understanding diminishes. Indeed, most primary interests of an INTP are things which he cannot fully understand, usually because they are highly complex or have some exotic, mystical element that does not yield to analysis. This is the real reason why INTPs are drawn to complexity: anything simple is too quickly understood and cannot hold the fascination for long. Similarly, proficiency in any area (which requires continual practice after understanding) is not such a driving force as it might be for NTJs, for example. While a judging NT will often seek to become master of his field, an INTP is satisfied by analysing it alone. The latter is often more of dabbler with ideas which leads me on to his second crucial aspect: detachment.

The Ti-Ne axis leads to a curious overriding desire to observe from a detached position, indicating the preference for intuitive perception with respect to external things. Since accurate analysis needs to avoid becoming hampered with details or being influenced by the actions of others, the INTP invariably seeks to withdraw, at least in spirit, from the situation being considered. This detachment can sometimes be so marked that he will readily see himself as a neutral observer having no personal association with that going on around him (unless forced to become directly involved through an attack on his principles). The INTP enjoys speculating about how a news item (for example) might be received by other people or how a point of view might offend certain types of people and be supported by yet other types; but to have a point of view of his own rarely seems relevant! This also indicates that Feeling is his least developed function. The argument may even be made that "points of view" and "opinions" are irrelevant since only objective truth counts. In reality, INTPs can often become far less objective than they think they ought to be: precisely at those times when the under-developed Feeling gnaws at his being.

Dominant Function: Introverted Thinking

Now looking specifically at first the Ti, the principle of detachment even encompasses how an INTP views himself. He may analyse his own thought processes as if his mind and body were separate from his conscious self. In wanting to understand his reactions to things, he may treat himself, even his own thoughts, as subjects for experiment. At the extreme end of the scale, where Ti is very dominant, the ultimate goal of understanding the world with total clarity must be achieved through total detachment from everything. Fortunately, Ti never dominates over the other 3 preferences to such an extent that such an unhealthy state is reached.

Where detachment ceases is when someone makes an illogical statement or violates one of the INTPs principles. At such a point, the INTP feels the instant drive to provide for clarity. This is his Mission; to be the provider of clarity, and is often suspicious that he is the only person capable of this task. Here, the INTP risks being seen as over-critical, aloof and arrogant. On the whole, however, real arrogance is rare for INTPs for their desire is not to dominate others but simply to observe, analyse and clarify. Once the point has been clarified, the INTP withdraws quickly, for he prefers not to be in the limelight unless absolutely necessary. Hence, for most of the time, INTPs are easy-going and will fit in to others' needs, taking up the role of observer again.

While proficiency may not be a central goal, competence always is. The difference here may be subtle, but it is important. If an INTP decides to learn a skill, then it is very important for him that he reaches a sufficient level so that basic errors can be avoided. Errors made by others are to be expected and can be criticised. But errors made by oneself attack the very root of the person, which is ultimately about rationality, logic and truth. INTPs hate to think of themselves being in any way inadequate, at least in areas that are important to them. So, as soon as he puts himself behind some task, then he must achieve competency. But that is as far as it goes. Refined competency requires too much effort and has little attraction. It would require practice and that usually bores an INTP. Hence, it is common to see INTPs dabbling at many things, achieving competency, just enough to prove to themselves that they could become more proficient if they wished, but rarely actually bothering to refine their skills further. This is a point at which we begin to get a feel for the workings of iNtuition backing up Thinking. The INTP has a whole set of skills which he knows that he would be proficient at, yet other people may know little of this. He is satisfied with the knowledge that he has these skills but often sees no requirement to demonstrate this to others, an indication of the strong Ti nature.

Related to this is the central aspect of independence. INTP's put great weight on being individuals and essentially different from other people, who they often view as being too alike and too interdependent. Independence touches on many aspects. One is the competency aspect above. When he is interested in something, then the INTP must be competent in it. But there are many things which don't interest him, and some of these will be things that others may be very competent in and where it may be assumed that everyone should be competent in them. The INTP usually applies the word "irrelevant" to such things: that is his excuse for any lack of competency in any field. And if he originally wished to achieve something, but failed, then it must be because was in fact irrelevant! The opinions of others are rarely given much weight in themselves. All opinions must get filtered through an analysis procedure to test for viability. No title or claim of being an "expert" carries any weight with an INTP. All people, big or small, are subject to an identical scrutiny. The INTP sees himself as the independent arbiter, whether a fair claim or not. However, when someone has proved his credentials through having sensible opinions, he will be afforded great respect by the INTP. Most respected of all are those who are not only sensible but also innovative. Intelligence is above all highly prized.

Independence, derived primarily from strongly introverted Thinking, leads to perhaps the most difficult aspect (for others) of the INTP, namely stubbornness. If an INTP is pushed into doing something he will automatically resist. The reason for the resistance is simply that any action must first be filtered by the Ti, guided by the Ne. He must be given the chance to reach an independent decision, approving or rejecting the action. Hence, he must withdraw to allow the analysis process to work. If withdrawal is not allowed then stubborn resistance is the inevitable result. However, others may not always find the INTP excessively stubborn, since the decision-making process can sometimes be rapidly accelerated when intuition takes the upper hand. The best way to get an INTP to do something is to suggest the idea as an option and let him sleep on it. Ultimately, the INTP must always believe that it is his decision. Once he is satisfied that the decision was independently reached, then he is content.

A further result of the Ti function is the concept, lived out by many an INTP, that knowledge is everything. They tend to believe that information is the key to life. All mistakes can be avoided by having the right information at the right time. This has at least a certain logic about it. Where they differ from other temperaments (especially from SP types) is that a large gap may exist between knowing and doing. To know is everything, to do is a lower order necessity, if it is necessary at all. This breeds the potential for lazy aloofness. The INTP is often satisfied simply by knowing that he could do something if he wished. This also leads to the danger of overestimating one's capabilities and losing a grip on reality. Here is an aspect where INTP and ENTP types differ strongly. The latter, with dominant iNtuition, are much more driven by shaping the world according to their ideas, ie. thinking supports and subordinates doing. For the INTP, doing supports and subordinates thinking.

Finally, the dominant Ti function means that the INTP takes his interests and beliefs very seriously. Honesty and directness when explaining these interests are usually displayed. INTPs detest facades and particulary dislike people who exhibit them. Equally, those kind of people also dislike INTPs and avoid them at all cost, for they know that the INTP will see right through them. The INTP's serious nature also makes them almost immune to mockery and being made fun of, at least when face to face with their mocker. If someone attempts to make a sarcastic, mocking comment about an interest of an INTP, the latter will defend himself with a pure, almost naive seriousness, explaining his position with a severe exactness, wielding his words like swords. This almost always disarms the mocker who does not expect such a penetrating defence. The INTPs defence usually also contains a subtle but biting attack thrown back in the mocker's face, chiefly because the INTP cannot entirely hide the fact that he believes his opponent to be stupid. Such confrontations might develop rapidly into physical ones, a danger that the INTP should be aware of. This ability to wield words with cutting precision is one of the INTP's greatest assests, but equally one of his most deadly traits. He is capable of using words creatively to penetrate deep into the understanding of a subject, but if not checked and wielded carelessly, his words can become highly destructive, especially where the Feeling function is heavily suppressed.

Secondary Function: Extraverted Intuition

Intuition is a mode of perception which focusses on the larger picture, the connections between objects, on the possibilities rather than the facts. When this is extraverted (Ne), the act of intuitive perception grapples with the world itself in order to understand it and its chief goal is to derive meaning. The INTP is sometimes referred to as the architect. The world is an object of study and possibilities for changing and shaping it according to the schemes assessed by the Ti core are derived from intuition. If his introversion is strong, however, then his schemes tend to remain private and speculative: the world remains an intellectual object of study but his architectural plans may not actually be put into practice. The constructor/inventor ENTP, on the other hand, with whom the Ne is dominant, aggressively grapples with and shapes the world, showing little reticence. The INTP is of the same spirit, but his constructive nature is likely to take shape within more private hobbies and less likely to directly involve others.

Where the extraversion of the iNtuition function becomes obvious is during discussions, especially heated ones. In contrast to INTJs, an INTP will often make controversial, speculative points of argument, often annoying the discussion-partner, and make them in such a way as to leave the impression that he is very serious about what he says. In reality, the INTP is not actually even certain himself whether he really stands by what he is saying, but his Ne strongly suggests that there must be a core of truth there. The purpose then of his outspoken style of argument is to sharpen his own intuitive understanding by testing the reaction of the listener, and indeed to examine the logic of his own arguments in real time while speaking them out. On occasion, INTPs may seem brash and tactless, but for themselves it is part of their way of getting closer to the truth. This is another aspect of the Ne grappling with the external world (in this case discussion with another) to understand it. The Ne provides the raw material for the Ti core to analyse. The INTJ, on the other hand, with Ni dominant and Te as secondary, tends to avoid letting uncertain speculative ideas out in the open: he presents a more considered structured viewpoint to the world while holding his private thoughts free for intuitive reasoning. The INTJ resembles a chess player, ruminating on the possibilites and then making decisive accurate moves. If the INTP played life as chess, he would keep wishing to modify the allowed-move-properties of his various pieces to optimise his strategy, find that that isn't allowed, and ask to start the game afresh! The ENTP chess player would indeed modify the rules to his advantage and complain that the standard rules were inadequate! The ENTJ would play by the standard rules but insist on making the moves for his opponent as well !

Extraverted iNtuition has a strong influence on how the INTP views his own interaction with others. It is the Ne above all that the INTP most loves to show others. He is therefore happy to be seen as somewhat eccentric, innovative and perceptive. In dreaming about what he would like to become or achieve, his goals are invariably highly individualistic. He must become the composer, the solo performer, the genius scientist who makes the unique discovery. If he is to be noticed at all, then he must be centre stage. If he can't be centre stage in an area of interest, then he must withdraw and resort to vitriolic criticism. But in all areas which interest him less he happily leaves to others and observes. With an INTP it is either all or nothing. Half-efforts he dislikes just as much as he dislikes the restrictions of teamwork and co-operation.

Humour is another aspect which marks out the INTP. He can readily dream up jokes about almost any situation. Taking things out of context is the chief source of humour and many an INTP is a Monty Pythonite. The Ne is the engine and source of this joke-generator. Needless to say, the humour of an INTP can be pretty zany and warped and may not be understood easily by others. The problem is that the Ne concepts for jokes are put into a structure only by the Ti. Hence, the humour can become black and tactless, having felt little Feeling input. Funnily enough, INTPs are dreadful tellers of jokes (which seems to be more the domain of those with Se), perhaps because they pay too little attention to detail when speaking spontaneously. If you see someone smirking and laughing at some private thought, without any obvious reason, he's probably an INTP. INTPs may however make good comedy writers, with the humour of Woody Allen being particularly liked.

The preference for intuitive perception means that INTPs dislike having their lives planned. They feel a distinct unease before most fixed appointments and cannot fully relax until the scheduled event is over, or at least in progress. However, the dreaded event is usually far less of a problem than had been imagined and usually brings with it a sense of satisfaction. Action is therefore the saving grace of an INTP, for a sense of achievement usually outweighs the earlier apprehension. Social appointments can also be greatly enjoyed, once they are underway. But joyful anticipation is rarely experienced beforehand, unless the event is central to the INTP's fields of interest. The source of the unease is simply the feeling that a planned schedule inhibits and robs the INTP of freedom. It is also a subordination to the plans of others which the independent INTP resists. Faithfully helping others is not a problem, however, but he must feel in control of his decision to subordinate or not.

INTPs tend to be rather mistrusting of people and are rather sceptical. However, a lot of their trust is based on what the Ne function tells them about somebody. This can lead to a naivity and sometimes to prejudices based on intuitive perceptions of appearence and style. People can be a problem for INTPs: on the one hand they are fascinated by some types of people, especially more extraverted individuals, but a fear of irrational behaviour in others usually leads to caution. Friendship with INTPs develops at a pace which depends considerably on the temperament of the other person. INTPs dislike making the first move and tend to mirror the emotional content of the other person. A jolly person will quickly bring the INTP out of his shell, as much as that is possible, while a serious person will find a serious INTP looking back at him. In this sense, INTPs preference for intuitive perception (rather than action) with respect to people results in them resembling a chameleon. The INTP can fit into many different modes of behaviour, even contradictory ones, in order to get into the mindset of the other person. The goal is to gain enough intuitive data to analyse and assess the person. In doing this, the INTP remains somewhat reserved, never wholly identifying himself with his surroundings. As chameleons, INTPs are therefore approachable and open, unless the Ne tells the INTP that the other person is a type he doesn't like, in which case the reserved attitude may become too obvious. The chameleon behaviour can be particularly strong when discussing something. The INTP may even argue something that he doesn't really believe himself. Sometimes it is for the intellectual stimulation that comes with the challenge of arguing from a variety of standpoints. Otherwise, it may be to avoid early conflict before the situation has been fully assessed. Chameleons hide their true selves. INTPs do not do this cynically, or indeed all the time, but it is a result of the strong desire to remain detached and observe.

However, where friendship develops rapidly, almost instantly, is when an INTP meets another INTP or similar temperament. Communication between such people can become extremely intense, leaving outsiders baffled. When two INTPs get togther, watch out! All forms of social graces and host-guest protocols become irrelevant. Both want only to share concepts and interests and absorb the intellectual stimulation of the other. Interruption of this process by any social necessity is undesired and annoying. Often the pair will become oblivious to everything around them and this may seem almost comical to an outsider. Introductory greetings such as "how are you?" may just be given and received with nonchalant disinterest. Conversations are more likely to open with something like: "Hi, I think I've worked out how changes in the Borg's command protocols can be routed through sub-space without compromising their universal teleconnectivity!", knowing that the other person knows exactly what he's on about. Later, the host may offer the guest a drink after an hour of discussing the latest developments in computer technology, and the guest may then notice that he is thirsty. In most cases however, INTPs have been groomed by other types into accomodating themselves into the social world, so that even amongst themselves a minimal level of social niceties will be given. Favourite topics of discussion are science and science-fiction, music, computers and any abstract concept with which one is currently fascinated by.

One-to-one conversation is preferred in almost every situation. In a group situation, INTPs are sensitive to whether they believe they will be listened to or not. If a dominant (strongly extraverted and loud) person is present, the INTP will withdraw and sulk, believing the dominant person to be a brute. If an INTP speaks, he must be listened to, for he believes his spoken opinions to be important. If not, he withdraws (at least in spirit) and assumes that the people who do not listen lack intelligence. Hence, INTPs make very poor leaders, for they depend too much on the attitudes of others. This is one of the negative sides of the Ne function. INTPs tend to jump to intuitive conclusions, can be fatalistic and have little perseverence. On the other hand, they can make very good assistants to leaders, provided they and the leader are of one mind, for their perceptive analysis can give the leadership useful insights which they may overlook, being too busy with leading. Indeed, INTPs are often glad when someone else takes over the lead, again providing the leader is of the same mind. An INTPs ideal is to provide all the ideas for a project and have a charismatic leader, who agrees with him, carry them out. The only area in which an INTP will carry out his own ideas to completion is in his personal interest world, where other people are not involved. For this reason, INTPs are fascinated by computer technology as well as the Internet which gives him a voice that he would not otherwise have. Many of the most dedicated Computer Freaks are INTPs. Ultimately, INTPs tend to trust machines more than they trust people and may feel particularly at home in the realm of cybernetics.

The Ne-Ti axis is a particularly useful configuration for an interest in Science Fiction. The Ne provides a fascination for abstract ideas while the Ti loves analysing the scientific concepts presented. Many an INTP is a Trekkie, particularly because Star Trek pays a great deal of attention to logical detail. Unlike much of the general population, however, INTPs take such science fiction series extremely seriously, showing the great relative importance attached to the world of ideas. Examples of fictional characters who INTPs have a natural affinity for are Avon (Blake's Seven), Data (Star Trek: TNG) and Seven of Nine (Voyager).

General role models for INTPs are individualistic, creative and perhaps enigmatic people. Innovative free-thinkers who follow their own new paths are usually greatly respected. Famous historical figures who attract the INTP's greatest respect are scientists, composers, inventors and, in society, revolutionary leaders and noble visionaries who bring about major change. Above all, individualism is the key factor, while vision is the most highly prized asset.

The Ne-Ti axis also leads to a curious duality in the thinking of the INTP. The dominant Ti core tends to assume the role of a controller and organiser of his life, while the Ne behaves like a free spirit, almost childlike in its enthusiasm. The INTP tends to experience these two forces as an almost continuous tug-of-war, with neither ever quite gaining the upper hand. He is not disturbed by this duality and can view it with wistful humour. If he has been free-spiriting for any length of time, he soon feels duty bound to analyse his behaviour and systematise it. While if he has been in an analytical mode for a while, he will soon decide that he can do what he wants freely after all. It is a yo-yo situation. Generally, INTPs have a very strong requirement to keep their external, social world as simple and as uncluttered as they can so that they can focus as much energy as possible on their internal world of system analysis and theoretizing. Hence, they tend to be amongst the least demanding and least complicated of all types when interacting with others. They prefer to let the world flow by: to observe the waves being made by others, but to make none themselves. When socializing, the Ne mode dominates, unless a discussion starts up involving the INTP in which case the Ti largely takes over. In their private world it is of course the Ti that dominates.

Tertiary Function: Introverted Sensing

The Sensing function is the mode of perceiving which gathers information from facts, details and objects. When this function is strongly introverted, Si, the focus moves away from external details and is primarly concerned with personal, introspective detail. The experience of the present is not central in itself, as with Se. Rather the focus is on how the present evokes remembered earlier experiences. The key outworking of the Si function is then a concern with memories of the past. INTPs typically have an acute awareness of the passage of past times. Sequences of past events can assume a remarkable solidity in their thinking, while most INTPs have very good memories. Indeed, the sensing function is usually very well developed in its strongly Si mode and forms a strong partnership with the Ti core. Hence, the internal world of the INTP is a world of complex, detailed structure, well organized and methodically kept in order. When an INTP focusses on specific details then he has a very sharp eye for them and will not lose sight of them.

On the other hand, one of the more serious weaknesses of an INTP is that the sensing function makes little inroads out into the external world. INTPs are usually oblivious to external details unless something forces them to take notice. When an INTP goes into a new room, or walks through a city street, he is blind to much of the detail that people with an Se function would see immediately. The INTP always tries to get a feel for the big picture, using his Ne, and habitually ignores all detail. Of course, objects of interest will be seen as a matter of course and he can choose to concentrate and focus on them, but it is remarkable how much he still overlooks. And those objects he does happen to notice will belong to a small set of things that he is interested in anyway. Many other objects would only be noticed if another person points them out to him.

When an INTP lives alone, his home is usually spartan and utility-oriented. There will be little or no decorative objects, electronic equipement will be in abundance and the importance of any object will depend only on its usefulness. The general style of the home is largely irrelevant. When an object is put aside, not to be returned to for a while, it will lie fully ignored until used again. Objects which lie unmoved for more than about 48 hours usually become invisible to the INTP, until such time as he has a use for them again. For other temperaments whose need for tidiness and order in a house is strong, this lack of concern in this area may seem despairing. For the INTP, however, no problem exists. Corners of rooms, table tops and cupboards may become cluttered with objects, but while they don't move they remain effectively invisible and are unimportant. Indeed, less mature INTPs have a reluctance to move objects at all, for the desire to remain detached and not physically interact with the world can be strong. The one thing that will force an INTP to tidy his home radically, even when alone, is when the clutter eventually gets in his way and hinders some activity. Often, however, the offending objects will merely be moved into another corner where they can spend some more weeks being invisible. When an INTP lives with a partner and perhaps has a family, he learns the necessity of focussing on the details of tidiness. This is not usually difficult, since tidying a house is an activity which can be clearly defined and, hence, the INTP can focus on it by treating it as systematic work.

Introverted Sensing often plays an important role in the private world of the INTP. When he visits a place, whether new or already known, his Si function gives an overriding concern for the atmosphere or mood of the place. In his subconscious, he connects the present experiences of his surroundings with memories of his past, sometimes deep past. A sense of history, of universality, is almost always invoked. When on holiday, the INTP wants to experience above all the ambience of each location. Specific details in the present are relatively unimportant and will not be well remembered. However, the atmosphere or mood will be remembered long after, as though it were a solid object. Since people encountered on a holiday usually count as details, unless more personal contact develops, the INTP tends to be drawn more to lonely, isolated places where atmosphere is less disturbed. Nevertheless, the presence of people does add its own ambience which can also be appreciated considerably. The net result of this concern for past experiences and of mood/atmosphere is that INTPs belong centrally to those types referred to as melancolic. The INTP melancolic is typically drawn to wild polar expanses, to mountain ranges and all places on the edges of civilisation. Whatever his particular yearning might actually be, it has a common root. The homeland of the INTP's psyche is a small and cosy community, isolated in the middle of a vast expanse of wilderness.

Because the present is inextricably linked to a sense of the past, INTPs tend to hoard items which help solidify the connection to the past. They find it very difficult to let go of anything they have collected (or indeed created) and which may have a nostalgic meaning. They assume that any object which is of interest now is bound to remain of interest for the rest of their lives. This emphasizes a strong sense of universality in the progression of time, just as it emphasizes the seriousness with which INTPs approach their interests. Frivolity is not in their vocabulary. INTPs often love keeping lists and databases in areas of interest, especially when the lists are associated with things of the past. Collecting periodical magazines or other media of interest is also a very common INTP trait. Such a collection is usually taken very seriously. Yet the collective whole, considered as a temporal rather than spatial object, always assumes more importance in the mind of the INTP than the objects forming the collection themselves. Hence, INTPs are collectors, but they are collecters for whom the objects themselves are only important in so far as they evoke a connection to past events, in so far as they yield a nostalgic mood. The curious problem with any collection of an INTP is that he typically fails to enjoy it in the here and now. Items are stored away so that they can evoke this time at some point in the future, but such a point often never occurs. It may never occur because INTPs are always so mentally active that they continually delve into new interests, and continue to hoard items relating to these, so that they rarely allow themselves enough time to reflect on the ever expanding library of their past. The interests of an INTP would be enough to occupy him for several lifetimes if that were possible.

Photography is a classic interest of the INTP, which depends strongly on the Si - Ne combination, as well as on Ti for attention to technical detail. Landscape photography, for example, is the art of conveying a sense of mood/atmosphere to the viewer (Si). The correct employment of lenses, filters etc. brings out the Ti core, while the enjoyment of seeing the world as an fascinating varied object to be observed and captured in the best possible way brings out the Ne-Ti architect. Photos are also a way of capturing the present to evoke a sense of past in the future (Si). When involved in portrait or people photography, the INTP will also be primarily concerned with the mood conveyed by the person in the eye of the lens. Quality photographic skill, as well as an intrinsic feel for imagery, is usually second nature to the INTP and can make a good career choice. When viewing photographic images, say in magazines, the overriding concern is for how the photo is conveyed; its mood, its colour, contrast and shading usages, its perspectives and image quality. However, the actual subject of the image, which other types are likely to concentrate on first, takes a back seat unless it is unavoidably dramatic. Hence, INTPs may convey a very critical and impersonal approach in discussing images, which could lead to offence in some situations.

Another area of interest common to INTPs, where Si has a strong influence, is Music. INTPs are usually fascinated by music and may have deep and wide-ranging tastes. Indeed, each of their three main functions (Ti, Ne, Si) plays a role in the enjoyment of music, and indeed music is a key interest for bringing out the feeling shadow of the INTP. Si itself brings a fascination for mood and atmosphere in music as well as for a strong sense of personal nostalgia. INTPs are therefore often keen on melancolic minor-key music in which an introspective and/or esoteric mood is conveyed. Equally, INTPs enjoy hearing music that they heard and enjoyed when younger (provided they can still appreciate it now) and yearn for the sense of nostalgia that it yields. INTPs are also drawn to complexly structured music, thanks to their Ti core. An appreciation of modern classical music, as well as perhaps contemporary jazz, is therefore common with them. Such music types are usually too complex to be understood after a single hearing, which hence provides excellent material for analysis, exciting the INTP no end. Once the basic developmental structure of the music has been assessed, Ne provides the impetus to derive a general meaning of the piece. What does the composer wish to convey, for example? Why was that particular development chosen? Indeed, the Ne is usually hard at work during listening sessions, trying to grasp the meanings behind the often fascinating combinations of sound-world evocations, structural developments and nostalgic impressions.

When the Ti core dominates the choice of music to listen to, the need for intellectual stimulation derived from complex structures and sounds will override concerns for cultured harmony. Hence, INTPs are often drawn to dissonance. Indeed, they may even thoroughly strive for dissonant sound worlds. When in such moods, consonant harmonies, especially of the three-chord-melody variety, are dismissed as boring and uninspired. If an INTP is forced to listen to simple harmonic music for a while, he usually can't wait to feel the relief provided by a few minutes of pure dissonance. The ideal music for the Ti core might be typically a modern symphony, with a complex, but analysable structure, with a rich and varied sound world, predominantly dissonant but with sections of melodic motifs to provide solidity. Examples of modern classical composers who particularly speak to the Ti core might be Simpson, Arnold, Holmboe, Maxwell-Davies and Shostakovich.

However, feeding the Ti core alone with music will rarely satisfy an INTP for long. Where music really inspires in when the Si function is brought into the picture. Generally, INTPs are fascinated by atmospheres evoked by music. Examples of modern classical composers whose music speaks more to the Si-melancoly through sound-world evocation might be Bax, Tavener, Pärt, Szymanowski and Rautavaara. Some elements of world-music also speak strongly to the Si-melancoly. INTPs may be interested in the Folk musics of eastern Europe and India, for example. The role played by the Si function is shared by SJ types, so that INTPs may find a common musical bond with some SJs in this area. Indeed, INTPs often feel at ease with SJs, especially their near-shadow xSFJ types. The SJ's guardian instincts usually help the INTP to feel at ease, while the tradition-based predictability of the SJ approach to life helps the INTP to know where he stands, giving him the space he needs to relax. Although the most intense communicative friendships may develop with fellow NTs, some extraverted intuitive types may overstress the INTP by being too dominant and unpredictable, extracting too much energy from the Ti core.

Ultimately, however, music forms a vital, central role in awaking the underdeveloped Fe shadow in the life of an INTP. It is undoutedly Fe that gives the INTP the life-spark to introduce a genuine sense of joy that music is experienced with. To the INTP, the role of Fe in music appreciation remains mysterious. Music forms which may be useful for awakening the shadow are expressive forms of jazz, where extraverted Feeling is central to the music-making process, as well as some expressive Folk styles (Irish for example). Examples of modern classical composers whose music may appeal to the Fe shadow of INTPs are Messiaen, Copland, Schnittke, Bartok, Vaughan-Williams and, again, Shostakovich (Noting that Fe can be expressing a range of positive or negative feelings).The music of Shostakovich is a particular favourite because, alongside its developmental structure, it also yields an immense sense of passionate tragedy which awakes the Fe-shadow together with the Si-melancoly.

Inferior Function: Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted Feeling judgement, Fe, is the shadow function of the INTP, being by far the least developed of his faculties. Indeed, mature use of Fe typically doesn't begin to take shape until well into middle age. Feelings and emotions are regarded with suspicion and perhaps fear by the INTP and he may be keen to avoid considering or showing them. At the same time, he may experience a certain fascination for the emotional world, but he is desperate to de-personalize any thoughts on that area. He is compelled to subject his emotions to continual analysis, the Ti core literally suppressing the Fe shadow, attacking Fe with accusations of irrationality. He resists letting his feelings go, fearing that to do so would be to relinquish control to an unknown force. He believes emotions to be of a lesser substance than logic and his natural goal would be to conquer his emotions with pure rationality.

Much of the above demonstrates the immature and underdeveloped approach with which the INTP meets his emotional side. In reality, the extraverted nature of the INTP's feeling judgement means that his emotions, when visible, are pretty direct and easy to assess. Since the INTP normally wishes to hide his emotions; when they do come out, they do so in outbursts with an almost childlike innocence. There is a sense of all-or-nothing and, when visible, there is nothing enigmatic about the feelings of an INTP: indeed, shadow functions always seem pretty raw and basic.

When making on the spot decisions while extraverting with another person, the shadow Fe is often temporally exposed on the front line. Its immature nature may then result in an inadequate decision being made. The INTP may regret this later when the Ti core has analysed the events. Hence, INTPs tend to resist being forced to make quick decisions, for they know that their Fe judgement is their achilles heel. However, the resistance is sometimes weakened when Ne jumps in to back up the Fe. The accuracy of the intuitive insight then becomes crucial if the INTP is to avoid fatal errors. It is interesting to observe that the external world of the INTP involves a very free-spirited Ne-Fe partnership, while the internal world is a very clinical detail-structure-analysis Ti-Si combination. Hence, the outward behaviour of an INTP can contrast strongly with his introspective world.

For the INTP, emotions are seen as something mysterious and as uncontrollable as they are unalterable. Hence, the root of the fear of emotions is the fear that they cannot be controlled. Hence, when an INTP does finally respond emotionally to something, his emotions are indeed left uncontrolled, raw and open. However, when witnessing the emotional response of another person, the INTP intensely resists any similar emotion of his own. An example of this is when watching a 'weepy' cinema film in which some heart-wrenching scene is being shown. The INTP despises the attempt by the filmmaker to influence his emotions and is more likely to sneer than cry. This response has nothing to do with arrogance, however. Rather it is the INTP defensively avoiding exposing what he knows to be his weak point. Where an INTP may experience his own emotional response during a film is when he has had the chance to consider consequences of a element of the film. Hence, emotional response to media input usually occurs with a certain independence of will, which could appear enigmatic to others.

The mystery of emotion is also evidence in the INTP's use of music. He always chooses to listen to music which suits his current emotional state, be it aggression, warmth, excitement, relaxation or whatever. Hence, the emotional state is assumed to be an unchangeable, mysterious property of himself. It is easier to choose appropriate music than to attempt to influence this. People with introverted Feeling, Fi, however, will deliberately choose to listen to music which helps them change and improve their mood. INTPs could never do that. They feel an unpleasant sense of disharmony whenever a music style clashes with their emotional state. Indeed, it is remarkable how much attention they pay to their emotions when music is involved.

Sexuality is another important area which brings out the Fe shadow of the INTP. Sexuality fascinates INTPs in a similar way to music. Both have an emotional core which does not entirely yield to analysis. Sexual feelings often clash with the INTPs desire to control and understand his universe. They also clash with the desire for detachment and keeping a distance. But sexuality is the one thing who's natural power can break through any type dynamics. Hence, sexuality can play a big role in balancing the INTP's functionality. However, the INTP's natural approach to sexuality will still have true-to-type elements. He will be keen to understand and categorise his sexual responses. He will be keen to see first the generalities of male- and femaleness before any personal references are made. Nevertheless, in an intimate relationship, the extraverted nature of the feeling judgement leads to a beneficial openness and empathic directness in responding to the partner's needs, providing the healthy development of the Fe function is encouraged. Indeed, for many INTPs, an intimate relationship is the only place where the Fe shadow can really develop fruitfully.

The inferior nature of the Fe shadow shows itself, otherwise, in the lack of ability to show active empathy with people undergoing strong emotions. If he wishes to encourage the emotional person, the INTP tends to resort to giving T-based solutions to the problems involved. Often, the INTP does not really know how to empathize and may feel discomfort and helplessness, especially when he understands the rational basis for the emotions. He may become frustrated that the person remains unhappy in spite of hearing his T-based solutions. Much worse is when the emotional person appears to be being irrational. INTPs detest irrational emotion above all things. INTPs must take a very wide berth around people who appear to be irrationally, outwardly emotional. INTPs are very sensitive to such a trait and fear the potential excesses of the emotional attacks which do not yield to a defence based on logic.

In a similar way, INTPs dislike being in an atmosphere of emotional disharmony. If they need to say something unpleasant to someone close to them, they would prefer to avoid this task for fear of the disharmony that may result. This results from the INTP's fear that he does not have the emotional competence to deal with disharmony. INTPs never like doing something until they know they can do it. The best cure for this reticence is experience: to express his feelings, to live through disharmony and come out the other side with greater experience of his emotional side.

The feeling shadow is the fear centre of the INTP. He rarely fears any factual thing in the outside world, at least not things that will be encountered in normal day-to-day living. Logic stipulates that external objects or people which threaten can always potentially be dealt with by instigating an active defence strategy. Of course, the possibility of being left truly helpless leaves the INTP cold, for once the Ti core is defeated, the inferior Fe can offer little comfort. Resigned acceptance of the unacceptable is an anathema for INTPs. His typical response to helplessness is to hate the world which has produced it. However, the greatest fears of an INTP are usually ideas generated within his own mind. The problem is that the Ti-Ne axis is capable of conceiving very unpleasant ideas, which may be far from reality and even irrational. Ideas and possibilities assume so much importance in the mind of an INTP that they can override a common sense factual grasp on reality. Since the emotional response to an unpleasant idea is based on an underdeveloped function, it may also fail to bring a return to common sense. The net result is the fear that ideas alone may lead to self-destruction. This fear is irrational and is a cry of help from the feeling shadow when being overdominated by the Ti-Ne axis. This problem can be overcome when more balanced type dynamics result from increasing maturity.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Still Don't Believe Me?

http://change.gov/

Watch out for this guy....people who don't lie are dangerous.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Tears in my Eyes

Take a gander at these lyrics and try not to have tears in your eyes:



Christian band? Nope. Christian themes? See for yourself.

"Under god but we kill like the son of Sam
But if you feel like I feel like about the son of man
We will overcome"

"We shall not be moved
Except By a child with no socks and shoes
Except by a woman dying from the loss of food
Except by a freedom fighter bleeding on a cross for you"

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Moral Dilemma of Voting Democrat vs Republican

I got a lot of good responses on my last post and I would like to delve deeper into my thoughts on why it is possible for a Christian to vote for a pro-choice candidate. Aside from the actual fact that most supreme court justices are conservative, more presidents since Roe v. Wade have been Republican than Democrat, and the fact that nothing has changed since the decision. I am not going to comment on the effectiveness of the decision to elect a pro-life candidate.

I will, however, comment on the issue of abortion. I do not like abortion, I am not pro-murder even in the case of the death penalty.

While in college, at a non-Christian school, I had to come to grips with the fact that I should not expect non-Christians to behave in a Christian manner. The issue was that I was bothered by the promiscuity, alcohol abuse, and general immorality of many people. What I had to realize is that they are not Christians and should not be held to the same moral standard to which I hold myself. And even if they are Christians it is not my job to pass judgement upon them. Perhaps to tell them, in love, that they are not behaving in a way that Jesus taught but never to chastise them publicly for their actions.

With that said, we do not live in a Christian nation. We should not make laws enforcing morality or actions that we deem to be moral. The society may be going to hell but it is not our job to fix governments. We are in the business of telling the world about Jesus, who He is, what He did, and showing via our actions that the way the world exists is not how God intended it to be. We, as Christians, can't even control our own lives. We are all sinners fallen from grace and it is only by the death and ressurection of Jesus Christ that we have any business calling ourselves part of a royal priesthood. It is only because of Jesus taking our own sins upon us that we are in the place we are. Who are we, as sinners, to attempt to enforce righteousness upon other sinners? If God gives people the choice to sin, so should we.

This can be extrapolated to all manners of life in which Christians deal with non-Christians. Gay marriage, abortion, prayer in schools, etc are not things that should even be on our radar. Let's take a long hard look in the mirror at our own fallings, our lying, divorce rate, lack of humility, abandoning the poor, not caring for the widows, migrating from the cities, racial segregation in church, doctrinal issues that have nothing to do with Faith. The list goes on and on.

WE DO NOT LIVE IN A CHRISTIAN COUNTRY. We can pray that our leaders are Christians and behave in a Christian manner, but the nation and its residents have the freedom to do as they choose.

Therefore, the decision for president should be for the candidate who we feel best represents a Godly person and who will bring morality and applied Christianity into his decision making process. A single issue does not make or break a candidate's validity and, in the same way, a single sin does not remove all possibility for redemption.

I believe strongly that had John McCain spoken in the way he did during his concession speech during the entire campaign, my decision would have been a whole lot harder. The fact, however, that he was influenced so much by the RNC makes me glad he did not win. I can only pray now that the Barack I believed in can bring a Godly presence to the office of the presidency and that his policies will reflect his faith.

Please do not call into question Barack's faith. He stated his faith and it has been reflected in his speeches. Regardless of his name or his parentage, he grew up in the church and attended church his entire adult life. We will know what his beliefs are by the fruits of the spirit, which he seems to have.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama: The First Christian President Since Carter

There is a large difference to me between someone who professes Christianity and someone whose demeanor and policies reflect their Faith. Let's assume we are all under the rule and reign of God. How many wars would we have? How many mothers would starve? How much would we give to the poor? How many immigrants would we allow into our nation? I am a Republican because I think it is the responsibility of the states to take care of their constituents and the national government to take care of the nation. I also think it is the responsibility of Americans to donate from their excess and sacrifice some comforts so that the people of this world can have what we take for granted. I think donating to a non-profit should be a tax writeoff meaning if I give 10% of my income to my church, the government sees that as me taxing myself. Tax rates should be defined based on cost of living in your state. If it costs a family of 4 100,000 to live in your state, there will be no tax on incomes less than 100,000 for a famiy of four. This would be the new poverty line for your state. Then, any income above and beyond the cost of living, would be flat taxed at a nationally regulated rate. This includes ALL income figured out like this: How much money did you start out with this year? How much money was given to you? How much do you have now? So let's say I start the year with 100,000 in stock and I make 50,000 a year. My stocks gain 20%, so my income was 70,000.

I also believe that people should be able to donate to non profits in lieu of giving money to the government. You want separation of church and state? Here it is. Give money to the church or the state or a combination :)

Yes, some people make gobs of money, and yes they (mostly) earn it. If we were all Christians and living under the rule and reign of the one true King, there would be no need for forced generosity; however, we live in a fallen world, where people are inherently greedy. It is therefore the responsibility of the community of people as a whole (aka the government) to enforce said generosity. With the ability to donate to non profits in lieu of paying taxes, people with a ton of money would be able to pick and choose where their money was spent and would not have to give it to the government if they felt a non-profit would do a better job. Any non-donated tax would go to the state government, with percentages defined by a federal mandate.

The money from property/luxury/sales/people bad at math (lottery and gambling) tax would go into a general state coffer to pay for schools and other infrastructure for the state. The states would then be taxed on their income and that money would go to the federal government to provide infrastructure for intrastate travel, communication, and the common defense.

Why do I say that Barack is a Christian? Look at the speech he made last night: We are all responsible for taking care of our fellow citizens. Who is your neighbor? Everybody in this nation. Why do I say Bush, Clinton, Bush 1, and Reagen are not Christians? Look at the way they raped the world. NAFTA, Iraq, retaliation instead of forgiveness, calling an entire nation an "evil empire", the term "axis of evil", WTO, Afghanistan, shutting down immigration, allowing for corruption and greed to spread like wildfire through the private sector, rampant unemployment, the fall of the housing market, greedy corporations giving loans to people with no money, greedy people unwilling to save money, etc. Do you think these policies were tempered in the fires of prayer?

I am not saying that Barack is perfect, but I am saying that I have never heard a President in my lifetime speak in this way. If his policies are close to his speech, this changes everything I have seen in my lifetime about Christian Presidents.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I have been reading some Allen Ginsberg. While I may not agree with a few of his belifs and life practices (homosexuality, NAMBLA, Buddhism, etc.) I can appreciate his respect for humanity and his willingness to say that the world in which we live is not perfect.

There are parts of me that are cynical and revolutionary but those are not qualities that I believe I have. I call myself a Levitical Socialist, but in reality, I am a Christian and the activism, intelligence, thoughts, and musings flow from my Christianity like rhymes from Chuck D. The sinful nature that I must constantly guard against is merely my body's opposing reaction to the things that flow from me. Outwardly I become an activist, inwardly I become less and less hopeful about something actually happening. Inwardly my relationship with God grows, outwardly my relationships with others diminish.

I really despise my sinful nature, perhaps that was the thorn Paul always talked about, although I always thought it was homosexuality, but that's another debate for another day. The things that I do always feel as if they have an undertone of sinfulness.

Put this into your hookah and puff on it:
A few weeks ago we helped with set up for church. After set up there was time for breakfast, so the community group decided to go out to the IHOP within walking distance. There were some other people that helped and I invited them to come with us. One of the guys said he would go. I liked this guy, even though he was the antithesis of what I am on the outside (he is an extroverted black guy, nuff said) I know that God brought me to him and vice versa because our past experiences and current employment status places us much closer than I would have thought. We talked for awhile, but we only hinted at things below the surface. After church I asked him how I could pray for him, which was, to say the least, not something I do. Ever. But I had to, no questons.

We talked for a few seconds and then I bolted. The next week I found him again after church and asked him about his week and we did the "how can I pray for you" bit again and made some spiritual small talk before I went back to rescue Kimmy from a conversation.

Both times, before approaching him, I have had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that he is going to look at me as some stupid white boy patronizing and trying to look down on him, or act superior or laugh at my introverted self or think I am just trying to create a token friendship because of the difficulties I have in starting conversations and my comfort in silence.

This is the part of me I despise. The part of me that says something is wrong because of the social norms and mores that it breaks down. Or the part of me that says it's wrong because of the loss of comfort it brings upon me, or the guilt for being a white yuppie male with a white collar job, or everything else that exists because of the sinful nature of humanity. I hate beyond hate the fact that I cannot do the things I want to do or know that I should do because of a lack of testicular fortitude or a plethora of logical thought.

I do not have the guts to do many things that I would like to do, but I can do more than I could a year ago. I will leave you with an ode:

Progress is slow
frustration is high
hope is receeding
anger is manifest

manifest in ways the tongue cannot say
only a feeling as it sticks to the roof of the mouth
teeth grinding

this prison is an abode, comfortable
monkey on the shoulder clawing and screeching
drop the chain

without the chain what would i hold
a vast feeling of emptiness, despair, c'est un baobab
visceral bruises

destroy the planet, destroy the baobab,
prince major tom is in a tin can, searching for life
more abundant

the dolphin cries, the deer pants for
water in streams, life has been found
hope

with feathers

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Metamagical Themas

So I've been reading a book called Metamagical Themas by Douglas Hofstadter and it is something that I am proud to be reading and a task that I would like to replicate at some point in my lifetime.

Not that the book, in an of itself, is a work that I could replicate, but the idea of combining the things that I enjoy and the thoughts that I have into a volume intrigues me. I am not a writer, although I do write. I will leave the "writing" to those in the family with a knack for seeing the beauty in the written word. What I do enjoy, however, is the process of thinking and of organizing those thoughts into coherent phrases. Most of my thoughts seem random and the themas that I would write would attempt to tie together my seemingly odd interests.

All of my interests revolve around the central theme of God's influence and creativity in the areas of our world that we take for granted. In the wikipedia article of Hofstadter it says "Both inside and outside his professional work, Hofstadter is driven by a pursuit of beauty. He seeks beautiful mathematical patterns, beautiful explanations, beautiful typefaces, beautiful sonic patterns in poetry, and so forth. Hofstadter has said of himself, "I'm someone who has one foot in the world of humanities and arts, and the other foot in the world of science.""

My feet are both firmly planted in Christianity, but my eyes survey the world around me, taking it all in. I don't venture forth, but I am constantly increasing the sphere of influence to see God in various places manifested in seemingly disparate ways. That would be the subject matter of my book and we shall see if it ever comes to fruition or merely exists as yet another extension of my sphere.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Goodbye Sunshine

The Indians have officially "given up" on the season. A bit over a week ago they called the current road trip make or break. Three at Chi Sox, 3 at Twinkies, 3 at Tigers. On June 30th, they were 9.5 games back. A 9 game road trip would, if they swept all 3, put them a minimum of 6.5 games back (most likey 4.5 or less) and right back into the thick of things. Instead they were swept by the White Sox and lost 2 of 3 at the Twins. A make or break trip was turned into a fiasco and CC Sabathia was traded to the Brewers.

Say what you will about the trade (CC for 2 top shelf prospects and 2 mid tier guys) but even if the Tribe was only a game or two back, this is a trade I would have thought about making. CC is a great pitcher, I'm not arguing that, but if you look at the status of the Indians at this moment, they are moving into another rebuilding. Whether or not that rebuilding is more of a reloading remains to be seen but let's look at the facts:

1) The closer situation is just not good. Even before Borowski was DFA, 45 saves last year was the definition of anomaly. One time in my lifetime I want to see an Indians CLOSER. Mesa, Wickman, Borowski. Granted Mesa was good, but he died when the team needed him the most. The problem with closers is that they walk a delicate line. On one hand they want to go out and just blow people away with their stuff (see K-Rod, K-Wood, Rivera, Hoffman, Gagne) on the other hand, you can only blow people away with wicked stuff so long before your arm falls off (K-Wood, Gagne). The Tribe, in building for the future, does not want or need a pitcher who just plain dominates for an inning or two, yet. What they need is what they have had in the past, a regular old guy who goes out and guts it out every night. When winning is on the line, they need a psychopathic guy who is about one hic-up from Tommy John surgery. Hopefully they find him.

2) The "core" of the roster is actually VERY small (even smaller now). Grady, Victor...Grady... are the only ones who have been good consistently for a long time and are continuing to get better. The rest of the guys, as much as I love them, are average to slightly above average guys who have the ability to perform at a high level. The issue this year is that the guys around them have returned to their average ways (see 2001-06) and there is no one in AAA who is any better to call up (Asdrubal, Garko, Fausto last year) When you have a low payroll you have to fight it with depth. You can't afford to pay a full team of All-Stars but what you can do is have a few and then have depth at the other positions in AAA so that when one of them sucks, you just send him down and get his replacement. The Tribe needs to extend that core by finding the guys before they are All-Stars and then having more positions solidified so that they can have more than two guys at the same spot in the order and consistently producing.

The best case scenario for the Indians next year and beyond is to continue to build the core and surround it with flashes in the pan and a few journeymen. A core for me is this:
Catcher, 2IF, 2OF, one ace starter, one setup man, and a closer. That's 9 out of 25. The rest of the pieces are effectively inconsequential.

The rest of the starting pitchers will fall into line with a good pitching coach. Look at the Cardinals every single year: even if they were bad on other teams the Cards bring out the best in their pitchers. All you need is one ace. The Tribe has Fausto (and Clifford Lee) so CC was expendable. Good job guys. Hopefully they got another of the 9 needed parts.

The Cubs may just win the World Series this year with these parts:
C- Soto
OF - Soriano
OF - Edmonds
OF - Fukudome
IF - Ramirez
IF - Lee
SP - Zambrano
MR - Marmol
CL - Wood

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Rudimentary Computer Intelligence

I am inherently inquisitive. One of my first nicknames was "Why What Noonen" so this is not a trait that I have worked on and developed. This serves me very well in my current job and I would like to share some of the things that I like to look at in detail in addition to a few things you should probably know.

1) When on the web, always look at the url (that thing that starts with http://) there are always clues as to the location that the writers may or may not want you to know. For instance Penny Arcade uses a URL that looks like this: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/12/20/ now what that tells me is that I'm looking at the comic from 12/20/2006. Try it out for URLs that you visit all the time. What you find may be that the "broken" links can be fixed easily if you know the algorithm for the creation of the URL and other data you may want to access becomes much easier to find. Google.com is one of the more interesting if you know complicated search queries.

2) Learn to count in other number formats. Binary and hexadecimal are the best (binary is 0 and 1, hex is 0...9, A...F meaning that A is actually 10 in decimal) but others are fun as well.

3) Learn what the modifier keys do (Ctrl, Alt, Shift) and key combinations (Ctrl+A) for your favorite OS and applications. These key combinations will not be part of your daily life for awhile, but aim at learning a few per week and using them instead of the mouse. Applications have to be developed so that a user can use the keypad instead of the mouse for people with no dexterity. Take advantage of this.

4) Learn what XML is and how it works. Once you understand XML, right click and view source on a web page or two.

5) Play with applications and try to discover hidden things. Most applications have File, Edit... menu items and most of them have predefined items within these menu items. Try to find one or two menu items that you have never used and see what they do. For the applications that you use on a daily basis, you should know every menu item and what they do.

6) Dive into the Control Panel and see what you can do. Have fun, break something, try to fix it. If all else fails, reinstall the Operating System.

The thing that separates Macs from PCs in my mind is that I have infinite control over what happens, how things are displayed, what applications open what files, etc. If you really get gutsy, go to Start -> Run and type regedit and hit enter. Here is where things can REALLY go wrong but look some properties up and see what happens when you change them. Look everything up on your favorite search engine and let the inquisition begin.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Social Gospel

Barak Obama is not only the first Black candidate but he is also the first Christian presidential candidate since, I believe, Jimmy Carter. I'm not talking about professed Christians who merely use their stance on Christianity or their history of attending church in an attempt to gain the support of the "moral majority" but an actual Christian. A thinking, breathing, God fearing, Jesus Freak.

Barak's pastor has come under fire because of beliefs that he has and some of that backdraft has spread to Barak. I am a white person, as white as they come but I have very little problem with Rev. Wright or statements he has made. From the perspective of a priviledged member of the middle class, I have no idea what it is like to grow up in a society that not only devalues me as a person but also attempts to keep me in my place. America is not the land of the free, nor is it the home of the brave. America is the land of hipocracy and the home of the hidden marginalized. Giuliani swept the homeless under the rug and I'm fairly certain that what he did is only the loudest example of the lack of care that we as a society provide for those less fortunate.

America is amazing because of its freedoms, but those freedoms have only been available to all of its members for less than 40 years. Even now, McCain and other Republicans are attempting to deny this freedom to the immigrants of the nation. Other than the Native Americans, we are ALL immigrants. And even the Native Americans immigrated from the Middle East and/or Africa. The only people in the history of this planet who were not immigrants were Adam and Eve. They were created from nothing, the rest of us came here the natural way via childbirth and immigrated to our parents home, then to other places in the country. We are all immigrants.

Until I started going to NC3 my favorite line in the Lord's Prayer was "Thy will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven" That will, which was so incomprehensible, made life bearable since everything ultimately would align to God's will so the difficult questions of why something happened became inconsequential. Who cares why something happens, it must be God's will.

Now I see the error in my judgement and my dismissal of the previous line "Thy Kingdom come" as the flaw in that judgement. The Lord's Prayer is actually a sequence of statements culminating in the "Kingdom, power, and glory" being given to God "forever and ever." Literally, there are two statements in the entire Lord's Prayer. "Hallowed be thy name" and the rest is a definition of what it means for the Kingdom to come. God's perfect will accomplished everywhere, no more hunger, intense forgiveness, steering us away from temptation, delivery from Evil, all power, glory, and the Kingdom in God's hands forever and ever. It never made sense to me why Jesus would pray that or teach his followers to pray in that way. Why didn't he just say "When you pray, recite this this passage from Psalms." What in this prayer was so different that it had special mention as the only time Jesus's actual prayers are recorded in Scripture even though He prayed constantly?

Jesus taught his disciples to pray a prayer that could only exist after the resurrection when the Kingdom had already come. What we pray today is that the Kingdom will come again and I think that Barak Obama is the next step in the Kingdom coming again. MLK spoke of the view from the mountaintop where he could see the promised land. If MLK was Moses, Barak could be Joshua, leading the people across the river. What we have ahead of us is a battle against the citizens of Jericho and their seemingly insurmountable walls. This world may have to be destroyed in order for the Kingdom to come. But this is not a battle to be fought with guns and planes but with belief that if we persevere and continue encircling the walls, they will come down.

Our job as Christians not only to persevere but also to enter the city that is filled with darkness and to seek out the Rahabs of the world so that when the walls come down, they will be spared and will enter the promised land with us and see the world as God intended it.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Collision

http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200805222746276

Sometimes it is nice to see worlds collide. God and baseball collide about 36 seconds into this. I don't know much about Adrian Gonzalez or Albert Pujols but they moved about 5 steps up in my book for their obvious declaration of faith and the immediacy with which they did it. These two men clearly would respond to any situation in this way and it makes me proud to say that I am a baseball fan in moments like this.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Simplicity

I love things that are complicated. The harder a solution to a problem is to come by, the more I will work and work and work at it until I dream about it (if I can sleep without solving it) and eventually figure out the problem. There is something intriguing about the difficulty in solving and the process that makes me joyful to be alive. Because of this aspect of my personality, I really have a difficult time solving simple problems since I always think of complicated solutions to simple problems.

For example: I designed a tree view (the hierarchical menu system that you see on the left hand of windows explorer) for an application that was pre-populated with data. Each of the parent nodes was a container for one or more parent nodes and one or more child nodes. As you got closer and closer to the leaf level (end of the line) the more specific the navigation became. IE Dog -> Big Dog -> Great Dane -> Harlequin Great Dane. What I needed to do is get all leaf nodes under a specific node. In the example above, I would need to get all Great Danes.

The way that I solved this problem was to create each node with a specific filter condition and then I would get all the nodes from a table of all nodes that match the filter conditions. So the Great Dane node would have the filter "Type=Dog, Size = Big, Breed = Great Dane" and then I would just run the query on the table and it would return all results that matched the filter. This is an elegant solution, extensible, and fairly well written. The only problem was that the nodes had already been filtered and I was reinventing the wheel in an even more complicated manner.

After thinking about this solution, I had to pause and go back and rethink. Why didn't I just get all the child nodes under the parent and not bother with the filter condition? Because I'm crazy, that's why.

Chrisitanity is the same way. All that matters is that God is A number one in my list of priorities. Everything else is just details. Theology, following moral codes, the spiritual disciplines, everything that comes along with Christianity is placed remarkably into perspective once I realize that the things that are dragging me down all have the root cause of not placing God first.

Getting this through my thick head on a daily basis is what I will continue to struggle with until the day that I die.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Religion and Politics

My favorite things to talk about are religion and politics. I love them both equally because everyone has to have an opinion about them in one way or another and the opinion of two people, except in the most odd of circumstances, will be different. These seemingly divisive (since when did everyone pronouce that "dih-vih-sive" as opposed to "dih-vye-sive") actually make me feel closer to a person than if we shared the same beliefs. Let me explain.

The ability of a person to articulate their feelings on an issue in additon to having the courage to defend those beliefs in a logical and conclusive manner without clamming up or becoming actively hostile makes me enjoy the conversation. If you cannot debate your opinions without descending into emotional drivel, then you do not have an opinion. You have been innundated with rhetoric and dogma and are merely regurgitating what you have been told.

Tina Fey was on SNL a few weeks ago, I don't remember if she was the host, but she was given a soapbox at the Weekend Update desk. She utilized this position to proclaim her Hillary Clinton calptrap and stated "bitch is the new black." It was not a very funny statement and made me think of one of the two funny lines Dane Cook has ever uttered. "It's that awkward silence like we were all sitting down eating dinner and dad just got up and smacked mom and now we're trying to go back to our dinner." A horrible situation, but a perfect analogy.

A few weeks later Tracy Morgan came on and was talking up Barack Obama. I don't remember much of what he said, I only remember that it was moderately amusing but mostly bad. Sitting on the couch with Kimmy, we kind of felt that justice had been served and had started talking during his little diatribe. We quieted down to hear the end of it and he uttered these words, which will forever be burned into my brain. "Bitch may be the new black, but black is the new president, bitch" No better words have been spoken and I applaud NBC, SNL, and Tracy Morgan for this.

Amy Poehler is also a vehement Clinton psychopath and when the camera went back to her and Seth Myers to finish the segment, Seth was doing all he could to not die of laughter and Amy was gritting her teeth. This is a link to the speech, which is bad in most of it but ends with the one liner to end all one liners.

Hillary is intelligent, calculating, and will do anything to get what she wants even if it means destroying the Democratic party. I am a Republican but will vote Obama because I believe that his intentions are to make this a better country. McCain is pretty much Bush's mini-me and we've seen how that has gone the past 8 years. Clinton's intention is the presidency and she will stop at nothing to get it. This is a perfect video. The only difference is that the small dog knows when it's time to quit.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Update x2

So the Cubs won that game. Still undefeated with me in the stands (5-0 or maybe more). I also passed that exam I was talking about and another one, so I am one exam (70-549) from MCPD-EA. w00t!!

Guild drama has begun :) I have two issues with people on WoW and both are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Type 1: Immature. Mostly Hunters. Have no concept of "team." Suffer from short and long term memory loss. Can not listen to instructions. Amazingly selfish. Will not sacrifice anything so that the raid will succeed. I have no idea how they manage to survive. Darwin clearly had some flaws in his theory.

Type 2: Hardcore. Mostly tanks and healers. Control freak. The type of person who will request to work solo on all group projects. See team members as dragging them down, holding them up, or as a cancer on their success. Refuse to admit faults. If something goes wrong, instead of busting out Benny Hill and laughing, will scream and yell and pick one person who *really* screwed up and harrangue them the rest of the night. Never have a "good day."

There are multiple type 1's in my guild and one specific type 2. One of the things that I have to laugh at is if something can go wrong involving this person and me, it will. For instance, if she heals me, the monster will attack her even if mathematically there is no reason for it to do so. Within the 3 seconds that it takes me to a) realize the monster ran away b) run after it c) get it off of her she has normally died and is fuming. If we are signed up on a group together, something inevitably will come up and I will miss it. Every time. I have, as a result, avoided her at all costs. The only time I group with her (and will group with her from now on) is in 25 man raids where I have a 1/23 chance of not being on her bad side. Last night, luckily, someone wasn't paying attention to heal chat and he felt the wrath of her type 2 personality.

This type 2 is married and I think I heard her husband say 5 things all of last night (2+ hour raid) even though he was a tank and should have been talking most of the time. Poor guy.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Update

So not too much has happened since the last update.

The Indians are not starting off the year the way I would like them to, but at least they're not the 2-10 Tigers. Baseball is a game of streaks. Put together enough good ones and you make the playoffs, end of story. They are currently on a 1 game winning streak which is a streak in the right direction. Big series against the Sox starting, first since the playoff debacle of 2007. That still makes me sad on the inside. That and the fact that they are 1-4 against left handed pitchers. Not a good sign..but they are 2-1 in one run games. Neither of which are large enough statistical samples for any significance, but numbers are numbers.

The Cubs are doing well, but the Brewers and Cards are doing better. We are going to a game Wednesday and, dare I say it, they are undefeated with me in the stands. If they lose this one, I will know whose fault it is. He has two thumbs and is typing right now...this guy.

I passed my test (70-526) and am taking the next one shortly (70-529) If I pass the next one, I will only have 2 to go before I am MCPD-EA. All that means is that I am 3 tests from being done with tests until Microsoft releases .NET 3.5 versions and I get to start all over again :(

I joined an interesting social construct known as a guild on World of Warcraft. We killed Magtheridon last night which was a blast. The way that it works is that you have to kill 5 guys chanelling this giant dragon looking thing and when each one dies, the remaining ones hit harder. After all 5 are dead, every so often the dragon will cast a spell and 5 people in the group have to click the cubes at the exact same time in order to stop the spell or everyone will die. We failed miserably last week since the cube clickers kept dying or not clicking at the right time. This time we died the first time and then beat him the second time. It's always fun to devote 3+ hours of your life to killing pixels (way more than that, all told) but there is something about banding together with 24 other people to do something that makes it really fun. We talk via VOIP throughout the fight and sometimes we are serious (CLICK THE CUBE NOW!!) and other times we talk about our wives, jobs, lives, etc. So far there hasn't been too much drama, but when you put 40+ people of various ages, sexes, races, accents, etc together there is always something going on.

Here's a quick link for you, one of the most horrible and yet hillarious tatoos I have ever seen:
http://www.asylum.com/gallery/ink-that-stinks/481203/

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Randomness

First of all, this is nuts. Nuts and awesome. Awesome because I can't wait until there is no more pain and suffering in the world so I can experience the world in the way God intended it to be. I can't even imagine how amazing that must feel but the possibility of death or serious injury keeps me from doing all the psychotic things I would love to do. I can't even imagine what it will be like when the kingdom comes and the will is done but one of the first things I do will be to gather a group of people that I've known and loved and go zooming around in a wingsuit.

Secondly, Linkin Park's "new" album is amazing. It still remains the last CD I actually purchased (granted it was for someone else, but I paid for it) and every time I listen to it I cannot help but be grateful for music. I'm a Republican, but if you read my Ron Paul article, you will find that I'm not the biggest fan of Bush. Not that he's a moron or a horrible person or whatever, he's just a man who made a mistake and is too stubborn to admit it. I'm not sure about Linkin Park's stance on Christianity, but they seem to be heading in the right direction. Anyone who says "..let mercy come and wash away what I’ve done" has at least an academic understaning of grace. I don't care if it's person to person grace or person to Christ grace, to be in a place where you can understand the concept of grace and mercy cleansing mistakes is a good place to be. A lot of Christians don't even get that.

Next, South Park is just plain genius. I remember trying to watch it with my parents on Comedy Central when I was in 8th grade and failing miserably at convincing them how awesome it was. This episode was hillarious and true as was this. Some episodes are definitely not good, crass, and rude, but some are pure genius. This is one of my favorites of all time.

Finally, work is going fairly well. I recently moved up in the world and am no longer the low man on the totem pole. Now I'm the second lowest. My project is over and I'm working on studying for my certification and just finished development on a project in Silverlight. Fun times.

I'm playing World of Warcraft a lot now a days. It's killing the dead time between the World Series and Opening Day. I don't know how commited I will be once the season starts, but for now, I'm having a lot of fun.