Medicinal Journey

The thing that led to Easter (http://flipflopsnowman.blogspot.com/2015/10/mvnu-speech.html) included some pharmaceutical dabbling in SSRIs.  Back in the day SSRIs and me were a bad combination.  Still might be but I haven't run the trials and my psychiatrist hasn't either.

Regardless, I've been talking about my new regimen with a lot of people recently so I decided to just get it down on the internet so I can link it.  I may update this post as I go but I my not.  Do not take this as medical advice.  Any medications you take should be under close supervision by a doctor and, most importantly, a community of people who can call you out if things turn south.  Seriously.  This is brain chemistry.

2006

April - SSRI experiments fail.

May - Diagnosed as mildly bipolar.  Start taking Wellbutrin.

2006-2013

Good days and bad days.  Psychiatrist diagnoses me as Bipolar II.  Continue Wellbutrin.  Lorazepam added for "tough" days.

2014

October - Bad days start to become more prevalent. Psychiatrist wants to put me on Lithium.  I reach out to everyone I know.  I realize I have a community of people at various stages of recovery and interaction with depression.  Their wisdom and insight were, quite literally, a Godsend.

October - Start experiments based on recommendations from a very good friend and mentor.  Begin Niacin (the flushing kind), Fish Oil, Omega 3/6/9, B Vitamins as supplements.

November - Mood is amazing.  Way better than just Wellbutrin on its own.

December - Read article about Turmeric/Pepericin and combatting depression.  Start that as well.

2015

January - New psychiatrist recommends getting Vitamin D checked.  I'm low.  Take Vitamin D from prescription and Vitamin K to help with D absorption.

January - Begin having panic attacks.  Not a good experience.  Take Lorazepam to combat it.

February - Forget Wellbutrin along with my carryon.  Decide it's time to stop.  Communicate with new psych and stop taking it.

April - Meeting with psych to discuss panic attacks.  He puts me on Gabapentin to help with anxiety.

Today I take the following (in order of effectiveness for treatment in my mind):

Niacin - This is my miracle drug.  I tried to switch to the non-flushing kind and depression came crawling back.  Sometimes I light up like a 55 year old woman having menopause but it's beyond worth it.

Gabapentin - Scaling up to 3/day to help with anxiety.  May scale down in the future.  Have only taken 1 Lorazepam since I started the Gaba 3 weeks ago.  I was taking 1 a day.  I've forgotten to take it a few times and the results have not been good.

Fish Oil and Omegas - Brain activity and thought process mostly.  I used to crave sushi and now I just eat it because it's delicious.

Lorazepam - Has gone from necessity to gap coverage.  I like having it around but probably don't need it that much.

Turmeric/Pepericin - Probably a placebo at this point.  It might have led to anxiety but I haven't done experiments with it yet.  This will probably get cut out as well.

B Vitamins - I'm going to stop taking these once the bottle runs out.

2020 Edit:

I still take Niacin and Vitamin D every day.  I may need to get more B-Vitamins as I am drinking Red Bull by the case.  The medical journey continues to be a journey without an ending.  I have weapons for the fight.  THC and CBD are interesting and I would really like to see a psychiatrist willing to write a prescription. For now, I'll stick with recreational supplies and micro-dosing.  I am a firm believer that people without medical care will self medicate and that all drugs should be on the table assuming they're under proper supervision.  This gap in medical care, which is currently being filled by the internet, is only available to a privileged few: those with time and money to do research and get random sets of pills or go to a dispensary.  This is unfair.  We have people out there fighting battles without weapons.  We need to equip everyone with the tools to fight their mental battles so all of us can reach our full potential.  The resources are there, they're just unevenly distributed.

2022/2023 Edit

I had a manic episode in July of 2022 and ended up in the ER.  After this, I checked myself into Compass as this was the first manic episode that was scary.  Previous manic episodes had been more "I can't sleep and am hyper focused on things and buying whatever I'm focused on (Lego, gym equipment, etc)" this one was legit scary.

At compass, I was diagnosed yet again with Bipolar II and am on Lamotrigine and Gabapentin along with Niacin, Vitamin D, and a multi-vitamin.  I see an LCPC instead of a clinical psychiatrist along with a new therapist.  It has been a transformative 7 months and I'm in a much healthier place than I was.  I stopped experimenting and started listening.  That's been the biggest change.